honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize