Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
