I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
