Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
