been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize