Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
