...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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