Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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