i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
