woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
