OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize