Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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