there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
