I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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