every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
