Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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