Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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