The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
