Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize