I bet he comes in French.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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