He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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