The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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