So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
