i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
