Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
