Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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