Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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