I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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