there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
