i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
