loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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