you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
