I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
