it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
