He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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