Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that's an acceptable place to lick
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
