The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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