I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize