this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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