i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
