absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
