Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
