shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
