I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
