Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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