what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
