I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
