my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
