He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
