i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
