Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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