is your mom at the bar?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
