How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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