You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
