FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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