If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
