Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
