where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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