I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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