Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
